Author: Derya Öztürk
I'm afraid ... What if I'm too successful?
One of the reasons for poor performance and motivation: Fear of Success
We've been trying to achieve something for life. For example, we manage to walk, talk, read and write, graduate, and employed. Being able to do what others do, catching the standards formed on a subject is considered a success, being able to do what no one can and exceeding the standards is a superior achievement. Nowadays, everything has to be measurable; because that is the only way that success can be rewarded. We have only started to perceive the concept of success in this way: Success is related to financial gains, successful individuals have certain and written characteristics in books, failure is catastrophic...
Success also has another meaning. Success is an emotion that cannot be measured but is felt and cannot be satisfied. The definition and feeling is unique to the person, but we know that satisfaction, joy, honor and so on contains emotional elements. Sense of success encourages us, we desire to do better than we do, it is the main element that whips us.
Can anyone try to prevent this feeling? Is fear of success? Yes, unfortunately many successful people are scared after accomplishing a job and prefer low performance by finding it safe to stay old. At first glance, it is difficult to think that the fear of success poses a major obstacle to a person's performance and motivation, career planning, and even personal development, but it is hard to imagine. It's very common and most people don't even know about this fear.
What is Fear of Success?
A person who fears of the results of his high performance may contain elements that may be harmful to him, constantly or unintentionally sabotage his success.
Do your thoughts and behaviors prevent you from knowing what you can accomplish? What can you lose by being successful?
The test below is based on the Boston College “Success-Fearing Personality” survey and will give you an idea of whether you are your biggest enemy or not.
Do You Afraid of Success?
- When I have a friend who talks about his depression, I usually feel guilty about my own happiness.
- While my luck is going well, there are times when I prefer not to mention about it, because of jealousy.
- I find it hard to say "no" to others.
- When I start a new project, I suddenly find a lot of work to do, I start to prioritising them.
- I tend to think that people who care for themselves before everyone else are selfish.
- When someone I know closely accomplishes a job, I usually feel lost compared to him/her.
- I rarely have problems concentrating on a subject for a long time.
- When I need to ask someone for help, I feel like I am a burden to them.
- I make frequent concessions to avoid arguments.
- When I make a decision, I often stick to this decision.
- I am ashamed when someone who is important to me praises me.
- When I am engaged in a competitive activity (such as sports, games, work), I often get stuck on how I do, how good I am, I cannot enjoy the event enough.
- I think the most guaranteed way to be disappointed is to want something very much.
- When I complete an important job or project, I'm disappointed rather than celebrating it.
- I find myself almost always in line with the standards I set for myself.
- When everything goes well for me, I start to fear that I will do something and break it.
Assign 1 point for the answer No to the questions 7, 10, 15. Assign 1 point for the answer Yes to rest of the questions.
0-5 points: You are good at success
6-9 points: Fears and doubts about success
10-16 points: You must be blocking your success with your fears
The reasons for fear of success can be grouped as follows:
Fear not being able to meet rising expectations
- Fear of not being able to repeat or sustain success
- Fear of not being able to bear the new responsibilities of success
- Fear of not being able to work comfortably due to the rise of the bar, fear of devoting much time and effort and increasing pressure
- Fear not to develop new models of thinking and behaviour that people expect from them
The need for consistent personality
- When I succeed, I am not me
- Don't be afraid to identify with the characteristics of people you have previously criticised
- Don't be afraid of losing your values or possessions
- Don't be afraid to take on new tasks and responsibilities that will change your personality
- Don't be afraid to have to set an example
Prevention of Exclusion
- What you leave behind is your enemy
- Don't be afraid to lose their place in the age group, income, education group etc.
- Don't be afraid to be excluded by those you have just reached
- Fear of imbalance in family relationships
- Fear that the people she is in love with will only love her because of her success and gains
- When succeed, afraid of being not happy, and unsatisfied
- Fear not to find the motivation to sustain success
- Don't be afraid of recognition, your private life will be ruined
- Fear that someone superior than him will emerge and take his place, fear of competition
The main problem: Fear of Uncertainty
The person is generally accustomed to his/her position and environment, and it is natural for him/her to resist change. In fact, people can easily afford change in two conditions: if he is absolutely certain that the new conditions of change will be beneficial to him, or if he is absolutely certain that the conditions in which he is present are harmful to him! If there is no guarantee that everything will be better when he succeeds, and if he cannot predict the possibilities, the general principle applies: “Don't swim in the water you don't know!”
Indicators and Results of Fear of Success
The common point of people who have fear of success and prevent themselves is that they have performed and performed at least once in similar jobs before. Therefore, the person who is afraid of success knows that he will succeed. He unconsciously sabotages himself:
- Strives not to sustain the high level of success previously achieved, remains at the old level
- Gives up when it's about to succeed, or focuses on other things
- Difficulty in solving problems and making decisions
- Can't meet the goals, can't find the motivation for this
- No desire to grow, achieve and achieve more than you can
- He feels guilt, anxiety and confusion when he succeeds
- His success continues to be stained, humiliated
- Has difficulty concentrating
The inevitable consequences of all these actions are low performance, low motivation and unhappiness.
The person who is afraid of success should first realize this, reveal negative beliefs and thoughts engraved in the depths of his mind and turn them into positive ones.
Beliefs such as; ”I don't deserve to be successful”; “I am worthless”; “No matter what I do, I can't be enough”;”Restarting gives me purpose”; ”You will be alone at the top of the mountain”; ”Staying there is more difficult than climbing there”; “It is only fortune“ feed the fear that prevents us from progressing. Their formation has bad memories such as family traditions, educational environment, social definitions, competition resulting in trauma and defeat.
The “eigenvalue” assumptions created by our little brains in the shadow of unconscious beliefs are closely related to success. The person chooses to sabotage the way he defines his value. Assumptions can be:
- Successful people are valuable
- Highly educated people are valuable
- High-ranking, earning, renowned people are valuable
“I am worthless, I do not deserve good things, I am not worthy of superior conditions, so I can continue this by interrupting my success“ (by interrupting my education, squandering my money, showing laziness, jumping from one work to another). Rather than swimming and changing in unknown waters, it is safer here, and that's what I deserve .... for example. The more value one has for himself, the more comfortable the environment is.
To Get Rid of This Fear and Succeed
In fact, the real problem is that one cannot set individual definitions and goals about one's own identity, value and real desires. Success requires a subjective definition, and goals for personal satisfaction and happiness.
Inward studies with Dr.Grigori Grabovoi methods become very important here. It is possible for the person to use self-questioning and awareness-raising methods, and to transform his/her mind with number sequences, to be empowered with imagery and concentration techniques. Thus, one learns this method and gets very fast results in himself and his relatives.
As a summary; as the sense of success develops, motivation becomes internalised, and this is the main feeling that nurtures performance. A sense of perseverance, ambition, persistence, satisfaction, honor develops, and as one enjoys the self-defined success, he does better.
We know that knowledge, talent and experience are successful, and the determination and fear of fear can undermine success. To eliminate this and to enjoy success is a new life. More qualified, full of satisfaction and self-satisfaction, a life full of confidence!
You can participate in our seminars to improve your sense of success and make your life more satisfied, happy and successful.